I promised fellow Sox fans I would help Dice K with my newly found dice, three pairs that were in an old storage box. I think they came with a deck of cards in a bonus pack. The day I dug them out of the box was the night Dice-K came close to a no-hitter. As is the case with most games, I cut out everything and everyone in my life to watch.
In so doing I forgot to place the dice near my screen or perhaps more elaborately, wear them around my neck somehow. My girlfriend makes jewelry, but I haven’t ventured towards that request yet. After all, she, too, is a Sox fan(as all her boyfriends have been, even here in Jersey). Speaking of Jersey, besides our infamous reputation for delivering industrial waste to the world, many automobiles come fully equipped with rearview mirror dice. This is actually my preferred method of spell-casting for Dice-K victories. It’s funny how many Yankee fans drive around doing the same thing, unwittingly. Even here at the VW dealership, from where I write this as my car gets serviced, several loud Yankee fans are driving off in Jettas, GTI & Passats, with dice dangling right above their GPS screens. (One patron donning an old Yankee cap was yelling for all the dealership to hear, “I need a stick, because I don’t like people driving my car!” Another example of Yankees avarice.I am not making this up.)
The other important personal subtext here is my pick up from waivers of Dice-K for my fantasy team, made up of fellow professors, adminstrators and deans. None of my league members would go near him. Two hours before the roster deadline yesterday, I made a quick exchange for Kevin Slowey. Normally, I don’t win these kinds of leagues since I have a hard time rooting for other players. Dice-K now accompanies Youk, Drew, Buchholz, Lester, and Scutoro on my team, the Idiot Winds. Hope you get the references.
The numbers: 15 scoreless innings for Dice over two games. 4 hits(I know, it’s only the Indians). A 0.75 WHIP.
And $175 for my 30,000 mile service on my Red Sox red GTI.
On the speakers in the dealership waiting room: “Whole Lotta Love” Led Zeppelin
Way down inside, we needed Dice-K
Several Globe readers, before last night’s game, said that this would be the real test for Clay, facing a surprisingly good Royals’ line-up after two wretched losses for the Sox at Fenway. Again, Clay set things right, putting us back in tune. While a another pitcher(Congrats Philly) was throwing a perfect game in Miami, the same pitcher Sox bats dethroned last week, Clay offered us a “mere” shutout. Was he irritated by the lack of runs, all those runners left on base? It seemed that with a few small changes in hit ball flight, we would have had a blowout. Was he nervous facing Greinke? Was he distracted by Kevin Millar’s laugh in the press box? None of the above. All the perfect pitch metaphors are flying around Philly of course, but there is perfection to behold in a Buchholz, Bard, Papelbon shutout. As agida-inducing as a one run game can be, this is one damn good trio.
PS. As happy as I was to see Kevin Millar visiting Remy & Orsillo, and hear him talk about 04, pointing to the goose bumps on his arms he gets every time he talks about it, there was an equally joyful visit from Tina Cervasio. In this spirit, I have to mention the reunion of Jonathan Papelbon”s arm with the 96 mph fastball. With the split-finger dropping like it did, 96 is perfect, just perfect.
*Claymotion: clay-mo-tion (clay-mo-shuhn)
1. grace under pressure, especially exhibited after two team losses in a row.
2. motion opposite commotion, also motion stopping momentum of opposing force. see Newton.
Boston, USA, 2010, more specifically, Fenway Park.
Lesteration. See Jon Lester, and see Thomas’ Trolley, May 31, 2010